Choose Love: Extraordinary Love Stories

Elise + Ben | A Buzzworthy Love Story

September 06, 2019 Choose Love Season 1
Choose Love: Extraordinary Love Stories
Elise + Ben | A Buzzworthy Love Story
Show Notes Transcript

Elise and Ben first met at work and became fast friends. Both were in a relationship at the time, but soon after they both became single. While focusing on healing from their recent breakups, they remained friends and helped each other through it. They began tackling their bucketlist items together. The more they learned about each other, the more they fell in love. One special night at a state fair while they were having their caricatures drawn, Elise whispered to the artist asking if he could write "it's official" on the drawing. And the rest is history. They are big believers in slowing down and appreciating the small things – baking pies, raising bees, spontaneous road trips. And together they continue to support one another as they journey through the new terrains of their relationship. Elise most recently started a freelancing photography business.

The story was curated by Stephen.

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Speaker 1:

Hello and welcome to the choose love podcast. I share the Chronicles, the extraordinary love of ordinary people. Our hope is that these stories will help inspire us all to hashtag choose love. The podcast is presented by Ellen Elena . Dear your digital bridesmaid. We're here to take your squad moments to the next level and help curate your bridal style so that you can focus on love. My name is Steve Hayden and I will be your host. Hello and welcome. This week we're going to be talking to Elise and Ben from Seattle about their story to date and how they're making the most of every second that they spend together. So without further ado, let's get started.

Speaker 2:

My name is Elise

Speaker 1:

and I'm Ben [inaudible] .

Speaker 2:

Well, yeah , I'll go first. Um, we were, we both worked at the same company. Ben's a graphic designer , um, and I'm a photographer and videographer. And so , um , our desks were literally 30 feet from each other, maybe not even. Yeah. Um, and we were both with other people at the time. And , um , we both live in Seattle, and I don't know if you've heard of it, but the Seattle freeze basically is a real thing where it's really hard to make friends. Um, everyone's really friendly, but they don't like let you into their homes or invite you to things. Takes awhile to get into the inner circles. And so Ben had said something one day about not being able to make friends. I was like, well, I'll be your friend.

Speaker 3:

So that kinda , you know , jump-started everything. And because of our job titles though, we just naturally , uh, I had asked her lots of questions. I started after her, so by six months or so, and so I had a lot of questions and I'd go to her. Um , yeah, sometimes, sometimes they felt really stupid. And then I think sometimes, you know, it was just to like chit chat, you know, it wasn't , uh , maybe about yeah.

Speaker 2:

But , um, you know, so we became good friends and we are , both of our relationships were kind of not doing so great. And , um, we both really loved the travel and our partners didn't really as much. And so we would like daydream about like, Oh, we should go see new cities or we shouldn't go on these food tours or we should go. But knowing that we couldn't because that would be weird since we were dating other people. Um, so then my boyfriend at the time and I broke up and um, Ben helped me through that, you know, as a friend. And then he and his girlfriend broke up about a month later. And then, I mean, we unofficially kind of started seeing each other like that same week. Yeah . I'd like to say for the record, nothing happened while we were with our other partners. We were just just friends.

Speaker 3:

So Ben, was that breakup, was that a completely natural and organic breakup or was there something in the back of your mind that was, I mean, I was definitely attracted to at least, but it was a kind of a long time coming. I mean , uh , it had been, yeah, it had been a long time since we had really talked about our future and all sorts of stuff. And she wasn't committing to anything or didn't want to commit to anything. And that was months and months ago. So it was just like a stalled kind of thing. And so, yeah, one night I just kind of knew that I had to do it or I just felt this, this thing. So we went out to dinner and then it just kind of happened on the way home and yeah, it was, you know , um, but , but the next day, the next day was our holiday work party. And so, you know, I was bombed . I was, you know , uh , and yeah, and at least it's like, are you, you're coming. Right. And I was like, wow, I just broke up with my girlfriend and I'm not feeling really like, you know, putting on a face for, you know, a couple of hundred people. And , um, but then, you know, that was [inaudible]

Speaker 2:

I talked to him. [inaudible]

Speaker 3:

yeah, you had like laid that kind of thing in my head. And you know, I just kind of sat, I'm by myself and it's kind of sad and I was like, man, I just need to go out. I just need to, you know, try to try to forget about this and just try to go and have some fun. Um,

Speaker 2:

so it was at a , the party was at a bowling alley. And so, I mean we were talking about this the other night that we kind of stacked floor for States into one. We went bowling. Yeah. Then we went to a bar, then we went to another bar and then we went to a diner. Then we went to a pie bar where you can drink any pie. And then, you know, said to me, he was like, Elise, I just have to ask, is there something between us? It's like, yeah, there's a big between us. And um, yeah,

Speaker 3:

I was, I was nervous to even ask cause I didn't want to ruin any kind of friendship thing going on, you know, like we were, we were becoming such good friends. That was so nice. And yeah, so I was just kind of stammering. I was like awake .

Speaker 2:

[inaudible]

Speaker 3:

it's like, yeah , there's something going on. But I was so relieved when she said, yeah , it's like, wow. Um, do you want us to talk about the platform ?

Speaker 2:

Oh yeah. So that night , um ,

Speaker 3:

one of the bars, this

Speaker 2:

just shows how innocent everything was up until this point. Um, we were in a bar that was really crowded and you know, to get past, you know , you had to move around the bar, you had to be close to one another. And so I didn't even notice it, but Ben accidentally touched my butt.

Speaker 3:

I was like going behind her and like my hand kind of grazed her butt. And like, I was like, Oh, but I didn't turn around, you know, I didn't do anything. I just went, sat down.

Speaker 2:

But then like two hours later we're eating and Ben is like, please, please, I'm really sorry I touched your butt.

Speaker 3:

I was like , I just got to clear. I didn't , it wasn't on purpose. And it was so funny. She covered off . She was so embarrassed by me just mentioning carburetor .

Speaker 2:

Yeah. But so, I mean, I was in January and um, we kind of made all of our dreams come true in February. You know, we , we had wanted to travel a lot. And so , um, there was a band that Ben introduced me to called Johnny swam . It's this husband and wife duet. And um, before we'd broken up with our partners, I had seen that there they were playing a show on Valentine's day in LA at the Orpheum theater. And I was like, well , there's no way we can go to that. Like we're both dating other people and it's Valentine's day. And so , um, when we broke up with our people, I mentioned it to him, he was like, Oh, we need to go. So Ben being this amazing gentleman booked tickets, he booked the hotel room. He figured out all of the arrangements and everything. So we left work about three, 3:00 PM on or no, I guess noon, like afternoon , I'm on Valentine's day, flew to LA for this show, stayed the night and flew back early the next morning to be back in time for work. And then that Sunday we flew to San Francisco just for the day and flew in super early in the morning, went and saw all, you know, that Alcatraz went to all these food places, went and saw all the tourists do things and flew back late that night. Um, so within a week we had checked a lot of things off. It was like, Oh, this feels right. But I was really hesitant to make it official because I just needed time to, and you were just telling me the other night about this phone call that you remembered as having

Speaker 3:

yeah, yeah. We had a , we had a couple phone calls when we weren't seeing each other , um , at work and stuff. Um, we had a couple of phone calls where, you know, we were just talking and stuff, but I, I knew what I wanted. I knew that we should be together. I was like , and I was like, no, I get that you need space and stuff. Um, yeah. And I'll totally give you that, but I was just basically not, you know, giving up. Yeah. I was just like kind of courting I guess for like,

Speaker 2:

but I just , I just wanted to be sure that I wasn't leading you on. I was like, I can't commit. I don't want [inaudible]

Speaker 3:

very honest. And it's like, you know, you know, I like you, but yeah, you can't commit to anything right now and I can't promise that we be together in a month or so. Yeah . Yeah. I just kept going.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. He kept, he kept trying. And then I'm in eight. Was it April? I think it was April. Yeah . We went to a , um , state fair in Washington and um, I, we had our characatures drawn like our faces as a group, as a couple. And um, they drew me first and then when they were drawing, then I whispered to the artist and asked him to write. It's official on the drawing. And so when he showed Ben the drawing said it's official. And then Ben knew that we were officially dating . I was like, why does she give me like warts or something or like ,

Speaker 3:

yeah. And so that was awesome. That was like a ,

Speaker 2:

so now you have it in a drawing memorialized , which is pretty amazing. And I've been together ever since I've been . How did that feel when police leaning in to whisper something and you , you know , you'll see , you didn't know what was going on. How did you feel when you saw it's official? Did you

Speaker 3:

get it right away? Oh yeah. I mean it was, yeah, it was amazing. I just saw it's official and we had , you know, it's not like we had stopped talking about being a couple at any point. So I kind of, I, you know, I , I had confidence that we were going to end up together, but I just didn't know when she was just gonna be like [inaudible] and just like give in. But yeah, that was, that was pretty amazing. And it was just a fun day too that we were having. So it was like, it was just really nice.

Speaker 2:

I just remember you getting like a big grin on your face and like, you started blushing. How long ago was that? Actually we were [inaudible] it was about a year and a half ago. Right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So what's been happening over the last year and a half traveling? Uh, we , uh, well I live on an Island outside. We live, but I lived here first. That's why I said , um , so I lived on this Island called bash on, that's outside of Seattle. And , um, you know, eventually Ben followed me out here and moved out here and he had his own place. And , um, it just, I mean like why are we living apart where on this tiny Island where you know, we should just be living together. So Ben moved in officially, when was that? Six months , maybe six months ago officially. And , um, we adopted a cat and we , uh , got honeybees. So we have two beehives, so we inherited thousands of kids. Um, Oh, we also bought a , uh , vintage 19 about ,

Speaker 3:

uh , I mean we love traveling so much and we were like, you know, we're not sure if the band life is ready for us. Um, but we would like something to travel in cause we went to , uh , Yellowstone

Speaker 4:

and grantee towns parks that summer before in my Subaru Outback. And we have chats . Yeah. So there's , I mean, hardly any room in that thing, but we made it work for over a week and that was fun. But let's get something bigger. Uh, so we found this band that, I mean everybody out here has these Volkswagen Westfalia camper van or sprinters. Yeah. Which those are insanely expensive usually. And so we just kept looking and kept looking. I came across this 1973 Dodge that was like this, it was this weird green, this like matte , but had kind of this metallic flakes in it like kind of booger green and his name is booger . So , um, but yeah, we, it took a while for us to get it because we had to go look at it and then the N needed a whole new engine. You need a whole new exhaust system. But we just kept with it and kept negotiating and then calling around to find out who could fix the engine for the smallest amount. And so it took a long time, but we finally got it.

Speaker 2:

And the day after we officially got it without ever having driven it, drove it all the way to death Valley, California from Seattle national parks around trip. We went to the, we went to redwoods , we went to Yosemite, we went to San Francisco, we mentioned the Valley. We went all over the place with this thing and it ,

Speaker 4:

yeah, 2200 miles for a van we'd never drove before. So our mechanic thought we were kind of crazy, but it worked out. It was fine. We got back one piece. Yeah . So how has your relationship over that, you know, being in that sort of tight space?

Speaker 2:

Oh , I think that we're like our best when we're honest too . I mean , we, we don't really fight much. I mean, we'll , we bicker, but I was just saying this to bend the other day, but , um, this is the first relationship I've had where it feels like a safe place to fight. Like, not that fighting's ever fun, but when you fight with someone that you know you're supposed to be with, it's like, okay , I know that we'll fight, but then in five minutes we'll be over it and we're talking about other things, you know, like yeah. Like it never feels like, Oh, is this relationship going to work? Like we're fighting about this thing. You know what I'm saying? Like it just feels like a safe place to argue. And so, I mean, I think on those trips it's mainly just arguing about exactly like all this shit just fell out of the bag . We had our dog with us too. And um, it just, I don't know . I, we're always sad when those trips come to an end because it's just every day we're just like, well, what should we do today? And it's just a really fun way of being together and we both love exploring and taking photos and so kind of our happy place. Definitely.

Speaker 4:

I feel like each trip we grow as a couple. Yeah, we'll get closer every trip we get . Think , yeah. I mean, I think the best thing about [inaudible]

Speaker 2:

in my opinion about you and I is, I mean we don't take each other or ourselves seriously. I mean we're just constantly laughing at ourselves, at each other, making fools of ourselves and in tight spaces like that. I mean you have to be comfortable doing pretty much everything and there's really nothing off limits with us, which is great. I've never had that with

Speaker 4:

a past relationship as just being myself 100% and not worrying about something, I'll say well or you know, doing something that's ridiculous. You know, she, she gets it all, you get it all as she usually is laughing about it . So it's, it's been great.

Speaker 1:

It's apparent to me, you know, having never spoken to you before, you know, the energy that you've both got and I just wonder, you know, how would you be, if you two weren't together, would you still be that sort of energetic and happy or do you think that being together your just like this happy being? Yeah, I think

Speaker 4:

something at least really made me grow and as being more extroverted, I'm , I'm more of an inter introvert or I have been. Um, but when I'm very close to someone, then that kind of comes out. But she is very much a hundred percent an extrovert and you know, because I don't have to, you know, watch like what I say and she just brings out the best in me and I'm able to be completely comfortable. Um, I think that went a long way in kind of making me more confident and just being able to speak my mind more and just being more extroverted in general, which is something I've always wanted to work at. So I feel very grateful for that.

Speaker 2:

Um, well, you know, it's, so I left the company that we work for or that we both worked for where we met , um, to pursue my photography freelance. And , um, I really think that I owe a lot of that to Ben , um, because he's just been such a huge support system for me , um, in pushing me to do the things that are really hard. And , um, and then helping me believe in myself when I'm like, I can't do this or this is really difficult, but also giving me the strength to say like, Oh, I'm not happy doing this if I decide that I don't want to, you know. Um, and so I think if we weren't together

Speaker 4:

still be [inaudible]

Speaker 2:

during the nine to five, probably unhappy about it. And , um , you know, I'm, I'm generally a very positive person, so I think, you know, if, if we weren't together, I'd still be a positive person. But , um, I in Ben's , my best friend, and so whenever I go somewhere or experience something new, he's the person that I want to have with me. And so I'd be, you know, missing that connection a lot.

Speaker 4:

He's blushing . How did it make you feel bad for at least to say that? Yeah , it feels great. I mean, yeah, it's so nice to hear that. I mean that we don't take to sweet things all the time, but yeah, it's , it's a nice to mean that much. And one thing I was going to say, I was, I think kind of along the lines of what at least was saying, I think we're really good at encouraging each other and supporting each other and no matter what, and just just from a core of wanting each other to be the happiest we can be and what, you know, it doesn't matter if that's like huge risks, you know, if there's, you know, I feel like a lot of couples , um, you know , uh , financial stuff is a huge, you know, strain or can be, but for us that's never been the case. And we're always just kind of pushing each other to , to do what we want to do and to do what's gonna make us happy and

Speaker 2:

say that we're like financially super secure. It's just, you know, we've struggled financially for sure, but I think we're both really good at helping each other find our priorities and maybe putting one of our priorities aside to help the others grow. You know, like Ben makes , um , really cool custom enamel pins and we both really want that to succeed for his happiness and for his art, his future. And um, so, you know, like setting aside time and money to make sure that grows. Um, yeah. And, and I think it's really fun that we help each other come up with ideas for that. Like we're both really creative. Um ,

Speaker 4:

we both bounce ideas off each other really well and help each other come up with, yeah, just ideas or what we're creating. We'll work really well together. We've , I mean, we've talked about, you know, being a marketing team together at some point and maybe that'll happen yet , but that's another thing, you know, I think people would be like, you know, isn't that great complex working together and also being together and it's, no , it's very, it's kind of all the same. It all feels the same to us. We just do. We just dragged really well . Well, I mean , when we worked at the same company,

Speaker 2:

we were together literally all the time. I mean, we'd commute on the ferry together and we'd go on the bus together and get to the office together and then back and then home. And I mean, yeah, there were times when it was like, we need a little space, but really for how much we were together, it was

Speaker 4:

pretty incredible. Yeah. I think, I think a lot of other people might be like kind of ripping each other for that much. Cause I hear people talk about all the time like I just need to get away from him or whatever , but

Speaker 2:

we just don't, I don't know . I just need, we are so comfortable with each other in every way. Um, that I think it's just, it's not hard spending a lot of time together. Yeah.

Speaker 5:

That was our cat.

Speaker 4:

She's agreeing.

Speaker 1:

Great input. Yeah. To cat . What's , what's the captain name? Uh , Suki Suki . Good timing.

Speaker 2:

Your old stubborn lady that we adopted from the local pet shelter.

Speaker 1:

You're saying how some people might think it's strange that you can spend so much time together and not get sick of each other. But I think it's perfectly logical, you know, because it seems like both of you can contribute so much to so many different areas of the other person's life. And it's like when, when each of you can bring so much value to the other one in so many different aspects of life, how could you be sick of spending time with that person because they, there's , it's so rewarding. What is the future, you know, are you thinking about marriage or is that waiting soon or,

Speaker 5:

I mean, we, I, we talk about like, Oh, would we get married, we could do this or Oh well we get married.

Speaker 4:

Like we both know where we want to be and that's to be married. So I think it's just a matter of timing and , um ,

Speaker 1:

any, any plans at the minute? No.

Speaker 2:

I mean, our dreams would be to have the Ava brothers.

Speaker 5:

You hear that ? Um, but no, I mean, other than that,

Speaker 4:

we keep our eyes out on certain things, like, you know, venues and stuff. And you know , when , when we watch shows or something on Netflix and we see something that's maybe strikes an idea, we're like, Oh, we should remember that.

Speaker 2:

But we also like bounce between like, Oh, it'd be really fun just to elope and just travel somewhere, you know? But then, Oh, I mean, I have a really big family and I'd be so sad if they went there. And so it's, you know, who knows,

Speaker 5:

who knows what will happen.

Speaker 2:

But , um, I mean, I think speaking of foundations and, you know, Ben has said that , um, you know, this is the first relationship he's felt so comfortable and same for me. But I think also an interesting thing with this relationship is that our student , well not our sorry , but yeah, the friendship, the friendship. Because in my, all my past relationships, I've just fallen head over heels for a guy right away, like automatically. And it's, it's more of like a , um, what's the word? Um, I'm like, just, I just like, I'm just crazy about this person. Yeah , I've totally infatuated and , uh , it's not necessarily healthy and like right from the start, maybe I know this guy isn't for me, but I'm just like, I just need to be with this person. And so I just get kind of, I don't want to say crazy, but maybe a little crazy, you know, where I'm like determined to make something work that's not supposed to work. And with then , you know, like I just saw him as a friend for a really long time and as we got to know each other and dated more and more, I just, you know, fell in love with him over a period of time. And so I think it's been more of like a learned love, which I think is way healthier because that crazy honeymoon phase will always wear off. But if you have this love that you've grown and nurtured and cared for, I think that's so much more long lasting than the crazy love that you see in movies. You know, where you see each other on the subway and that's it.

Speaker 4:

You know , um, being friends first I think just really cemented that foundation. It's just seems like it's from a healthier place and, and more importantly, it seems like that is what is gonna make everything last. But now I'm crazy about it. Yeah . I mean, I think, I think we both just play off each other really well and I've helped each other grow naturally. Um, I mean I consider, I think I'm way better for it, not just the , um , more extroverted kind of part, but I just feel like we also challenge each other a lot. And I think that's always healthy when you're having these conversations. Um, we talk about politics, we talk about religion and talk about everything. And we were always challenging each other on, on things that maybe we've thought our whole life and, but we've obviously got different perspectives and different upbringings and so kind of merging those and , and talking those out , um, I think has been really great in helping us grow and seeing other perspectives and yeah. And I've never really had that in another relationship either. Um, it was just kinda one of those things you just, I dunno , it's , it's weird how people kind of put certain categories into these boxes. They don't want to bring up all the time or whatever it is. Yeah . And sometimes lease is just like, you know, like, well tell me why and I'm going to tell you what I think. And yeah, pretty stubborn too . Yeah. Yeah. We could definitely be stubborn and that gets into some of our fights when we do have fights, but then it ends up being just a growing experience and we just talk it out and, you know, it's, you know, a mutual respect and , um , but yeah, it's, it's really cool. Yeah. I think that's, that's a great , um, that ,

Speaker 2:

that is a huge in which I have grown

Speaker 5:

is just learning to be okay with the fact that we don't agree on things and that's fine. And like, I mean, there's, you know, we've had some differences of opinions religion wise , um , or spirituality wise. And , um, for awhile I kind of felt like, well, how will we have a kid if we both differ? We don't believe the same thing. And , um, I just had this like change of thing . Like I changed my way of thinking and my perspective like, Oh, maybe that's a great way to have a kid because it'll show them that we're okay with each other. Not believing the same thing. Like we have tolerance for each other and respect for each other and our different beliefs. And um, you know, that's a great thing. I think that's, that talking through all that has brought us a lot closer together. Yeah . That's very cool. The way should be, yeah, I think so. Yeah .

Speaker 2:

Just in the middle of the winter, I read a book about beekeeping. I was like, we need to try this. And Ben being,

Speaker 4:

we're like, she's reading a beat book and , and like getting all excited and I'm like going to sleep, but she's like ,

Speaker 5:

Matt , did you know that these do this? Did he know? I was like, what ? It's like, wait, can we talk about this? Like, it's so exciting. They're awesome. Like, I believe he is , but he was so gracious and went with [inaudible]

Speaker 2:

me for my, you know, crazy new hobby idea. Yup . And we've just learned together. I mean, there's so much that goes into it, but it's just an amazing team building , um , exercise and learning and getting stung together. Um, so yeah, I mean I think we're continually growing and pushing yourself to try new things, go places. Um, yeah.

Speaker 5:

And of course raising bees is an environmentally responsible thing to do as well because bees need help. So yeah. Together you're improving each other and the planet. Yeah, pretty good.

Speaker 4:

Like I grew up in rural Ohio and our neighbors were farmers and yet, you know, growing up I didn't have really any appreciation for that kind of stuff. And you know, I wanted out of the , the rural setting as fast as possible and that kind of thing. So after living in a couple of big cities and then most recently, Seattle, I just of , I was like, I was over it. I was just, I was like, it's so funny how things change as you get older. And I just started saying this new appreciation for living more rurally again and getting away from all the, you know, the buzz. Yeah. The hubbub of the city and the traffic and all that and more of just like , uh , a less stressful environment to where you can be closer to nature and that kind of thing. So that's another , um, a great thing about moving to bash on moving to the Island and , and getting able to experience that again,

Speaker 3:

kind of similar feelings of when I grew up in Ohio and now having this new appreciation I think has been great. And, and at least pushing us into the beat territory, I think cemented that. And uh, it was just a fun, new challenge for both of us. I mean, I just don't even see how people do that by themselves all the time. Especially. Yeah. Especially with multiple hives. Like it helps so much when you have a partner. Um, yeah . Holding the frames up and while you're smoking them, keep them calm. I'm looking at him and yet we still get stung all the time.

Speaker 5:

Well , I mean if we, we, our goal is to have a big piece of land and you know, goats and chickens and stuff. All the farm things we can,

Speaker 3:

yeah. We have no idea what we're doing, but I like, I know we'll figure it out together.

Speaker 5:

Wow. I'm sure you will. I've got no doubt. And I look forward to trying some honey. Yeah. So do I thank you both very much for speaking to me. I mean , that was fun . I hope you enjoyed a quick, big reflection. Got to see Ben blush a few times. Does it happen? I love what it does. I wish you both every success and the best of luck. I just want to make a bee pun, but I just, I don't know if I should stick that low now . I hope you have every, every luck together and you don't get stung. Ah , you went by. Hopefully we stayed busy. Yes , we do this all the time. There's a real good energy between the two, if you like. There's a real good bus . I hope this podcast is buzzworthy . Whoa . Okay. Whoa. We're going to make it to the door. Oh, I haven't used that one before.

Speaker 1:

So I'd like to thank Elise and Ben for spending the time with me today. What a great couple of such a fantastic energy between the both of them. I know that they're going to do well in life, and obviously a big thank you to you for listening. Please remember if you enjoyed the show, give it a share, and until next time, don't forget to choose love.

Speaker 6:

[inaudible] .