Choose Love: Extraordinary Love Stories

Sarah + Andy | What Happens in Vegas...

December 09, 2019 Sarah + Andy Season 1
Choose Love: Extraordinary Love Stories
Sarah + Andy | What Happens in Vegas...
Show Notes Transcript

What happens stays in Vegas, right? Unless it involves falling in love. The two met when Andy, on a typical Vegas boys trip with his friends, spotted Sarah from across the room at The Red Square Bar. Andy's wingman was immediately on the job, chatting up Sarah's parents, who she was on day trip with. This is the story of how a quick 15-minute chat with a stranger in Vegas gave birth to 16 years of love and two beautiful sons. Through the chaos of life, Sarah and Andy have learned that it's important to always remember the simple things. When all else fails, food and wine always allow these two to reconnect and keep learning about one another. 

You can check out Sarah's businesses:

FIRM FOCUS provides experienced productivity consulting, targeted training, and speaker coaching for attorneys and legal professionals. Check them out at https://www.firm-focus.com/

Simply Organized Sarah (SOS), LLC. will help you creatively and resourcefully free up the things that are cluttering your mind, home, storage spaces, closets, offices, bathrooms and life. Check them out at http://simplyorganizedsarah.com/

This story is narrated by Stephen.

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PODCAST SHOUTOUT:
Listen to the craziest and true dating, engagement, and wedding stories on the Secret Life of Weddings Podcast. Giving you a weekly dose of behind the scenes drama and ALL of the tea you never knew you needed. Check them out on your favorite podcast player or visit them at https://www.secretlifeofweddings.com/

Speaker 1:

Hello and welcome to the choose love podcast, a show that Chronicles the extraordinary love stories of ordinary people. Our hope is that these stories will inspire us all to hashtag choose love. My name is Steve Hayton and I will be your host. Hello and welcome to another episode of the choose love podcast. This week we're talking with Sarah and Andy from California. This couple really epitomizes what it means to communicate successfully in a relationship, often communicating on a level much deeper than just the words we speak, so let's get into it. But before we do, just time for a quick message from our friends over at secret life of weddings.

Speaker 2:

Hey guys, it's Lisa and Rebecca from the secret life of weddings, podcasts, and I know what you're thinking. Oh, a wedding podcast. It's really not what you think. Not at all. We tell the world's craziest, true wedding stories. This is insanity. Like we're talking, the bride is pregnant with the best man's baby. A man dunks his entire head into a chocolate fountain. Lisa snuck kidding. This stuff is legit, crazy. Come check us out in the secret life of weddings podcast and remember anything can happen at weddings and we will be here to tell you all about it.

Speaker 3:

I am Sarah Tetlow . My name is Annie and we'll fund the yet California. In February 28th of 2004 I was living in Santa Barbara. I was a student at UC Santa Barbara and my mom came down to visit me. I was coming up against finals and really didn't have the bandwidth to take a weekend trip and so the easiest trip to take one is to go to Vegas for the day and I thought it would be fun. I could go like I was going quite frequently at that time. And so my mom and I flew from Burbank to feet to add Las Vegas and my dad moved from Oakland to Las Vegas and met us there and we didn't want to carry it. My mom had a suitcase cause she had been visiting , visiting me in Santa Barbara and I had a book and we didn't want to carry it around for the day and so we left. That left it at the airport with some of her friends that were working the front gate. And so I had showed my ID while I bought at the plane and I had stuck it in my book as a bookmark and we go throughout our day. We had gone over and had lunch and I had a beer at lunch. And then my dad wanted a last surprise for me before we leave standby back to , I was flying back to Burbank and my mom and dad were flying back to Oakland. And so he had read about the red square bar at Mandalay Bay and I had studied it in Russia, in college. And so we head over to Mandalay Bay and we stand in line for the red square bar, which hadn't opened yet by PM. And while we were standing in line and I was waiting for the front for the doors to open, I went and sat on the side and was on my phone. So Andy , I guess this was the first time that you met Sarah. So what were you doing?

Speaker 4:

A typical boys trip? Uh, we're there for a buddy's birthday. Uh, and he and a group of his friends went golfing. Uh, on this particular day, my brother and I decided we would, you know, basically walk down from the top end of the strip to the bottom end and just spend the day, you know, doing the Vegas thing. Um, I had heard about this bar , the red square bar from a couple of guests that came in. I happen to be in restaurants. I was bartending at the time. Couple guests came in and said, Oh, you're going to Vegas this , you're going to check out this part called the red square bar. Um, you know, vodka bar. They have this freezer that you can go into. Um, blah, blah, blah. So we ended up getting down to the red square barn. We're waiting in line cause , uh, it hasn't opened yet. Um, and this very attractive woman walks by it . Um, which happens to be Sarah, obviously. Um, and you know, I kinda had my eye on her and she's not paying attention to me or anything for that matter. Uh, just kind of on her phone. I'm like, okay , well, you know, I said to my brother, I'm like, wow, you know, she's like cheap , cheap , really attractive . Uh, and my brother was like, Oh yeah, blah blah blah. So , um, anyway, they finally let us in. They let us enter the bar , uh, and we go and we do our ordering and uh, all of a sudden my brother, you know, punches, punches me, I'm like, what's going on? And he steps back and Sarah happened to be standing right next to the ham at that point.

Speaker 3:

So I'm the first crowded , right. Cause the line goes in and everyone wants to go up to this bar that's made of ice in order. But my parents kind of wedge me in to order. The whole reason my dad would want it to take me there was because if you order a bottle of vodka, they'll put me coats on you and put you into the freezer with Lennon's head and you step on your vodka . So I asked for the , the vodka list , like what, what do we need to do to get into that freezer? And he says , you have to order off this list. And I show my dad and my dad's like, the cheapest one is $200 so we'll just do that one. So I said, we'll take this one and the bartender. That's great. Let me see your ID. So I now open my wallet and if you put the timeline in perspective, I was 22 I was about to turn 23 and here am thinking, Oh I'm so old, like I've been drinking for a long time, but my ID was not in my wallet because if you remember I had left it in the book at the airport, which of course I didn't remember. So I am now on this ice bar dumping out my purse. I knew I didn't have my ID, but I'm like, look, I'm with my mom and dad there can vouch for the day they had been . I've got credit cards that say members since 1999 so if you can do basic math, you can figure out I'm old enough, come on. And of course the bartender's like, no, I'm not going to serve you. So giving up on the idea that we're going to go into the freezer. My mom and dad ordered a martini. They were nice enough to let me at least stand there, but I'm literally like crap on this ice trying to just piece together some basic math that they can let me have this experience.

Speaker 4:

And I'm witnessing all of this, right. Because at this point my brother's already stepped back, I think at both at that point. Um, he's already playing an amazing wing man and his talking to Sarah's parents. I , I like, I don't even know what's going on behind me. Uh , but because I'm a professional at pickup lines, obviously being a bartender , um, I think I said something like who comes to Vegas and doesn't bring their ID, right. Uh, as my M cause that's a great end. Um , annoyed.

Speaker 3:

I'm annoyed because I'm just like, who are you? I'm, I want to see what this freezer is like. So I put the contents of my purse away and now at this point his brother is absolutely chatting it up with my mom and dad. And now that I've known his brother 16 years, I'm sure he was wasted talking to my mom and dad, but Andy , um , kind of give and I was like, alright , well whatever else. And well my parents finished their martini. We probably talked for 10 to 15 minutes. Yeah . And then my parents and I are like, well that was kind of our adventure and um , we're gonna go catch her . We are standby . So the earlier we get to the airport earlier, we can see if we can get a flight home tonight on, I think it was a Saturday for sure. It's a Saturday. So we leave and we are walking out of the hotel and I just stopped and my mom was like, what? Why are you stopping? And I said, that guy and I give my poster . I said, that guy, I'm not done talking to him. Oh , my purse. And I pulled out, I had a business card and my business card at the time I didn't realize that I would be such an entrepreneur. And of course now I do own actually two businesses. But at the time, my business card said, Sarah molder, individual, I wanted to leave my options open of what ever that meant. I could be a babysitter, I could be your bookkeeper, I could be your paralegal. Um, so I walked back with just the business card and um, he and his brother now have their backs to the entrance and they're talking to the bartender and I tap him and he turns around and I hand him my card and I said, this is so you can verify my age.

Speaker 4:

And he looks at it. I'm looking at this business card and going, what ? Like, what's the street? I'm taking this literal at this point. I'm like, what does she mean verify her age? And obviously I have this damn confused look on my face. And I, Sarah said something to the effect of call, why don't you call me? Oh yeah. Okay.

Speaker 3:

So I turn around and leave and I in the taxi or I can get a rental car back to the airport, get my book, my ID safe, say goodbye to my parents. And I am boarding the plane and my phone rings. And Andy's calling me and he's like, Hey, where are you? I wanna take you out. And I'm literally standing on a plane like, do I don't I do, I don't, I mean I fly for free so I could walk off and go to have a drink with the sky . Um, but I, I had , um, a commitment back. I lived in Santa Barbara and he lived in Phoenix, which I don't think he had said he lived in Phoenix. And I didn't obviously know that on that call, but I had a commitment back in Santa Barbara and I was dog sitting, so I couldn't leave these poor pups too long. So I thought, no, I need , I need to go home now. So he, I said, I'm flying home. He goes, how long is your flight? Hour and 20 minutes gate to gate. Okay, call me and tell me you land at safely. What? Who's this guy wants to know? I landed safely. This is weird. So I think I didn't call him and at the point I got to my car, so tack on another 45 minutes, but I got to my car and he calls me again and he's like, Hey, did you land safe? I'm like, yeah, and me and my car. How long is your drive? Hour and a half. Okay. Tell me when you made it back to Santa Barbara. So I at first was just like, I gave my card to the total wrong dude. This guy's really creepy and checking in on me. And um , of course, obviously 16 years later we're sitting here. So I know now that his family is more like, did you arrive safely? Did you get to this point safely? Can you just call and check in? And we have absolutely in that 16 years and he has super creepy too . And we've certainly blended the two different backgrounds of how we communicate with that regard. But anyway , um, I ended up going in checking on the dogs and then I had a law review party and I'm at the party and I'm like, Holly , my , my good friends there about this guy I met in Vegas, but also the creepy aspect that like you wanted to check on me , um, my flight and my car ride and like, that's weird. And my friends were like, I don't know , that's just kind of nice. Okay . So we stayed in touch for , for for two weeks. Any, as you mentioned was a bartender. I was still a student and a nanny and we had that kind of relationship where he'd get off work. Um, and at the time, the time zone, he was an hour ahead and he'd be done bartending at three in the morning and I'd be like, call me the , from two to five in the morning. We'd talk every single day. And I remember he, I don't think he remembers that he sent me a text that says, I think I'm falling for you. And before I'd even like seen him or met him, I mean 15 minutes of meeting him and I got that text. So two weeks after we met, I flew to Phoenix and we spent my birthday weekend together , um, in the middle of March of 20 of 2004. He like absolutely wowed me. He took me up to Sedona and we did a pink Jeep for that was the first time to sit on it . Yeah . Yeah. And he said, I impressed him just on this pink Jeep tour with other people. I had peanuts from my flight and so I was giving them out to everybody and he thought that was so sweet and I met his parents and he took me out to the melting pot for dinner and had called an advanced and had flowers on the table. And like if you're going to Sue a woman off her feet, then Annie read that book

Speaker 4:

and talk to the right people. I don't know what happened to me cause 60 years later on I get flowers in plastic wrap on February 14th and September 12th. Yeah , from our boys. So let's fast forward. So now we're at March and we're seeing each other about twice a month. Yeah. Every other week. You really are one of us. Where do either there would fly to Phoenix or I would fly , um, to Santa Barbara. And my schedule was somewhat flexible,

Speaker 3:

maybe late summer, early fall. The conversation came, this was serious and it was not longterm to be doing what we're doing. So,

Speaker 4:

and again, this is 2004, so we're flip phone. Um, my, my cell phone though was like four or 500 bucks a month. I can't, I can't afford this relationship anymore. So , uh, yeah. So I mean, obviously things were getting pretty, pretty serious and we at that time started the conversation of, all right , one of us has, has to move and, and who really, who's it gonna be? Um, I remember one. Yeah, Santa Barbara. Definitely one

Speaker 3:

Santa Barbara one, but, but there was a moment there where Andy was up for promotion after Santa Barbara won . And that was a hard conversation because it was like, I just remember like, I think I even called my mom, which like I don't know what to do because now I am not prepared to move to Phoenix. And I don't even remember. I think that was part of the conversation was like, if I take it, would you come to Phoenix?

Speaker 4:

No. I know , I remember the opportunity that I was offered. I mean, I had , um, I had gone to school for hotel and restaurant management. I have been bitten by the bug at a pretty early age and I was , um , spilling the industries to this day, the restaurant industry that was day . So , um, I felt like, wow , um , this is a pretty good opportunity. It was with Hilton at the time and I was offered something by a manager that I valued , uh, and he wanted me to stick around, stay with the group and, you know, develop me as a manager. And so it , it made me that it made me reassess and I at least had to be a conversation with Sarah because I had also verbally committed to move to Santa Barbara as well. So , um, I made the right choice for sure in retrospect, but , um,

Speaker 3:

well I do think we have a really great love story of an introduction. We are not unicorns and rainbows now. Like, I mean we're married and in love, but we have married with two kids and life is life and it's chaotic. But well we'll fully get there. So any moved , um, the day after Christmas boxing day, we celebrate at boxing day with his family in Phoenix and then we jumped into the U hall , the that day and made the Trek all the way to Santa Barbara. And his parents also came and I think my parents came down, flew down cause they can just pop on a plane. It's that easy for them, which is amazing. Um, the, the, all the parents helped move us in and all met each other at that point. Um, we, I had met his parents, he had met my parents, but they hadn't met each other, so they all got to meet each other at that point. And , um, by now too , I had graduated college and was working full time and , and Andy had already lined up a , a great job in Santa Barbara at the wine cast . And so we started in 2005 off , um, living together and Montecito and a great little apartment in Montecito. End of 2006, my dad had come to us and said, I want to help you guys buy a house. And so we were, I was 25 and he was 26 at the time that the negative arm loans were really huge loans. And so, but yet they were an opportunity for us to be able to buy a house in Santa Barbara. So we looked,

Speaker 4:

what she skipped over here is the pressure to get engaged and buy and buy her a ring. So she , she happened to skip over that. So that was a pressure of getting engaged this entire time. Um, but also buying a house. So my, my question to her at that time was, what shows you more commitment at diamond ring or buying a home in Santa Barbara? That part I won, which, which doesn't happen often . So we decided to purchase that elements . Santa Barbara. Yeah . I ended up saying exactly the same thing to my one . It was that right. Actually the same thing. I don't know exactly the same thing and I lost one ultimately. But that conversation [inaudible]

Speaker 3:

then in November of 2007, we , um, Annie had said like, let's go, let's go to Vegas. We haven't been in a really long time. Let's go to Vegas. So we get to , um, we were staying at Mandalay Bay and Andy was like, no . Well, why don't we go look at what the restaurants are to go to dinner. There's house of blues. Oh, we can't afford these steak houses . Um, but we should go have it before dinner, drink at red square bar. And I'm like, okay, cool. And then we'll figure out where we're going to go eat. That's fine. So we go into the red square bar and we order a martini and we're standing there and he's like, you know, I'm just going to go check with the manager if they'll let you see the freezer. So I'm like, okay , and pull my driven . So he hands me his drink and he walks off and he comes back and he's like, okay, I think they said that they're probably gonna let us, I'm like, okay. So sure enough the manager walks over like, Hey, you guys were the ones that want to see the freezer now . Okay, we'll let you see it. Sure. So , um, we get the main coat . Same , we get in the freezer.

Speaker 4:

You've got the anywhere . I was too bright . I got to meet Jack . Good yet the mid , so I've been there freezing but you know. Alright . Alright , hang on . Wait.

Speaker 3:

So we're aim there and I don't even, I don't, obviously I have no idea what the words were, but he had some words and then now he's dropping and he's like shaking cause it's freezing and he has no nervous, super nervous. And of course he asks me in the freezer if I will marry him, which was , um, like the most perfect setting ever. So , um, he says, and that's not all, we have reservations over at Oriol for dinner, which was something else I have been dying to go to. I think I was actually more excited about Arielle . Like I was like, well eventually the ring's going to come so great now that that's over with, this is amazing. We get to go have dinner over there. So we went over to Oriol and um, beautiful, like the way the table was set, we were sitting kind of diamond style looking out into this little Swan pond and they , um, having just been engaged in Andean magistrate, they absolutely took care of us. Just, we were so overindulged

Speaker 4:

so I'm going to , I'm going to step in. So there was a process throughout this whole Vegas thing, obviously I, a lot of goes planned out and had used in the industry connection to get in the freezer and be able to propose. So it wasn't as if I just went up to the manager that evening. Like, Hey, they knew we were coming. I told them what time we were coming. And , uh , walking around looking for restaurants to eat at that night was all a ruse just to, you know , um , because my thought was she knows she's gotta know , um, the engagement ring that I have purchased our roommate at the time , uh, cause we ran it out. One of the rooms in our, in our house, it would be able to afford a house in Santa Barbara. Uh, was a good friend of mine. The engagement rings stat in his closet for over a month. Um, so he was like the only one besides myself. And then I asked her dad , um, uh, uh, for his blessing as well. But , um, so everything was kind of a ruse here in, in , uh, in Vegas from we're looking for a restaurant to eat at . I had also reached out to , uh, the small EA and the general manager of Arielle and I had a pretty special bottle of wine and Sarah knew about this bottle of wine. It's like

Speaker 3:

1985. [inaudible] Rochdale

Speaker 4:

it was 95. And it was like the no touch wine. Like you don't , under any circumstance, you do not touch,

Speaker 3:

well my girls nights when I had enough wine that was the bottle I pull out and be like, we cannot have this one, we can't have this .

Speaker 4:

I would lock, I would lock the wine fridge door. So anyway , so she had noticed, I actually sent that , um, I sent that bottle to Vegas about a week ahead of time , uh, to the smaller guy at Oriol and that bottle was waiting for us on , on the table as well for dinner. So it was, you know, just kind of , um, what happened to that guy? Um, it was one in one kind of romantic thing after another. So

Speaker 3:

yeah. I mean, now we bring grocery outlet wine, so progression now , much more responsibilities now it's two little boys. So , um, okay, so great, great dinner . And I'll also mention , um , Andy was super cognizant that if he's gonna propose, I'm going to need to call a laundry list of people. He built that into the time. So like the same wall I had sat on on my phone in February of 2004 . I'm sitting there now calling everybody, I'm engaged, I'm engaged, I'm engaged. And like when going through my phone like, Oh yeah , I have to call that person. Oh, and I to call that person. There was no like Facebook, you weren't going to , you were going to just call a handful of people and then blast it . You had to like sit and call everyone. So he actually gave me that time. So , um, that was an happened to be the weekend, a one year anniversary of when we got the keys for our house, which was kind of cool. I mean, he didn't plan that, but it worked out that that's the weekend we went. Uh, we were married on and he, Oh, and here's the other caveat. After those calls, he said, we are not talking wedding again until we drive home. So I couldn't start analyzing dates. I couldn't start planning. That was the deal. Um , we got in the car and now analysis came on and I'm, Oh, the fall would be great. And where would we get married and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Calling my mom, what do you think about this day? How about this weekend? Does this work? Blah, blah. So September 12th of 2008, we , we decided to get married about 10 months later, had a absolutely perfect, beautiful wedding at the Fest, Parker double tree in Santa Barbara. If you know Santa Barbara, you know, that big return , duh . At the end of Cabrio drive on the East side of Santa Barbara. And uh, we got married on a Friday and it was just great. We had some of Andy's relatives from England, some of my relatives from Holland. Um, we had about 150 people.

Speaker 4:

Yeah , it was a party weekend. I mean, besides the actual wedding day, which was absolutely amazing and stressful at the same time. Right. Um, I think even probably more enjoyable than that special day was like that day, the days afterwards. And the Saturday , um, Sarah being as organized as she is , um, had , uh, put together, I Airbus for lunch for us and , uh, 44 of our closest friends and family to all go up to wine country and we did tastings up in wine country with 50 of Oz . Um, and just like, just had an absolute blast being able to spend , um , about the time to gather as you know, new husband and wife with again, like 44 of our closest friends, if you will. So

Speaker 3:

yeah. And so like, instead of doing like an after brunch, we decide to do this bus and , um , we, we couldn't afford to pay for the bus, so it was like, Hey, if you want to be in kind of a first come first serve and whatever the costs Lez and Andy was able to line up three of the wineries at a much discounted rate for their tastings . And , um, my mom and one of her Southwest airlines flight attendants who is amazing. My mom made these, you know , tray of croissants and bagels cut in half already and a tray of fruit and a tray of the meat slices and the cheeses and the most as in the bloody Mary mixes. And so we had like this amazing party bus and there Martha's walking up and down the aisle, like the flight attendant. She is, you know , casino who wants to have Persont and a bagel and meats and cheeses and who , okay, Moses here. Um, did the three wineries and on the ride home we had, no, that was the end. But on the ride home I was like, I think maybe even Annie was like, this isn't done. Or if somebody said, this is not, we're not done. So any makes you were like, who still wants to keep partying? Who wants to go to dinner tonight? Expecting like half the bus, maybe everybody, but two people, two of his parents' friends that were like, Oh my God, this is so exhausting. It was not our kind of scene, but everybody else was like, we're in. So Andy calls this a Mexican restaurant in Santa Barbara that's really known for kind of touristy cause it's big Elvis Dayo and was like, Hey, he worked right next door. So they knew him like I did after my wedding. And I've got about 45 people that want to come to dinner in two hours or hour and a half. Can you make that work? And they're like, yes we can. So we arrived there and they had done a prefixed menu. Like you can order one of these three things. And it said, congratulations, Sarah and Andy on your wedding. And we had another, like, it just continued for that day. So it was really a great time. Everyone loved it. Um, so that was September of 2008 and then I'm just giving it then life life happens, right?

Speaker 4:

We are here. We are November, 2019 so I'll, I'll, I'll [inaudible] very detailed. You've got an amazing,

Speaker 3:

yeah. So I'm 2016 both of our careers changed a bit. Um, I became a legal marketer. Andy needed , uh, a well needed break from running restaurants at that point. And he still had some paternity leave. So he kind of took a bit of a sabbatical for a little while.

Speaker 4:

I came to a realization, I , I can't remember at what point I was like, you know , um , back and boy, nine or 10 months old and I, I, I just didn't know my second son at all. So it was, it was, you know, one of those conversations again , um, that you have in relationships right where , um, with, you know, with Sarah's blessing obviously, and even more so than her bossing, I think it was, she was like, yeah, you need to do this for , uh , for the family and for yourself, which ultimately is for the family , uh, to, to take some time off, get away from restaurants and the grind of what restaurants can be , um, to , uh, to get to know Grayson and really reconnect with Teagan for that matter. And, and yeah,

Speaker 3:

during this whole conversation of annually Munis job, we had already decided to sell our home in Santa Barbara. We were running our house and we had the converse and you thought it at one point and said, I think I think we should buy the house that we're living in. And we knew that our landlords were, we had had a conversation with them when they asked us to renew our lease and we said, well we will but for only six months because we think we might, we might be moving. And they said, great, when you move, we're going to sell. So we already knew that they were considering selling when we left. And so instead it was a, I asked her to coffee and she thought she thought it was to say, okay, we're giving notice. And in fact we proposed a number. They took that number and it was no , no real estate realtors involved. So we were able to get our home at um , quite a bit below market value. And then , um , a year later, so now , um, it boys are getting a little bigger. Andy , um, was actually directly asked for old restaurant group that he had worked for here in the Bay area. They proactively reached out to him and said, what are you up to? We want you. And he said, absolutely perfect timing because I am ready. And later that year I started to just go, well , what should I be doing? Um, I like legal marketing but this is not my longterm . And I launched my first business, which is simply organized. Sarah , it's a small residential home organizing business here in the Bay area. I was still working full time and launching the business side by side. I mean it , it's chaotic. We're , I'm, I'm out the door at six 15 in the morning to catch a train into San Francisco and he's handling the kids in the morning. He's getting them dressed and fed and off to school and now to two different schools. And I pretty much stay out out of the way in the mornings, easier on our family and easier on the boys. So a lot of times they don't see me in the mornings and that's even true now that I just run my own business. I get out of the house early and I get the back end . So I would be catching the late train home from work and picking up two kids and we would walk in the door at 5:20 PM and somehow have to fit unloading, cooking or let's face it, McDonald's, I'm feeding bath, pajamas and bedtime at seven 30. And so your window of seeing your kids is about two hours a day and Andy even less than that and , and it's, this hasn't changed. This is um, it's life is chaotic and there are certainly days on end if not longer where we feel like strangers in the house. Um, so if you could go back and do it all again, is there anything you would change? No. You know, no, because I'm not a religious or spiritual person, but I also just kind of believe that we don't make mistakes. We just grow and you, and the ebbs and flows of our relationship in life somehow. Any and I can always kind of rely on each other when there are, certainly, especially with the kids, there are certainly moments where we both are heightened in the chaos and maybe, maybe one of us realizes that we're both heightened and we can take that opportunity to be like, we need to bring ourself down so we can bring the other person down.

Speaker 4:

Well , them , we, we, we made mistakes as a couple all, all the time. Right. And any kind of relationship, it's um, uh , any relationship that's worth it, it's going to be difficult. Um, but from the very beginning, just by nature of Sarah living in Santa Barbara and me living in Phoenix, we've always had pretty good communication. Um, and that comes and goes at times as well where our communication isn't as good. Um, but I'm speaking for myself and I had hoped , speaking for Sarah , um, we're , we know that we're together, we're kind of dynamic and, and being a dynamic team and being able to get through whatever life my present or you know, kids' challenges and all that stuff, if we are able to have that kind of open conversation at some point, you know, whether it happens because , um , Sarah scheduled it or, or it , or it just kind of organically , um , happen

Speaker 3:

and we're still, I mean , I would just have been on Andy's comment right there. Um, we're still very much learning each other and we both take our individual careers pretty seriously and in the sense of wanting to continually improve our, our learning in our industry and in general. And so we'll share a lot of podcasts or books. Um, and some we keep separate, but , um, in learning more about all of this that's going on out there and mindset and everything , um, we're still learning about each other's personality, that food .

Speaker 4:

Well , Sarah and I, good . We can always connect and this probably speaks for most people, but we can always connect around food and wine. I think that's always been a big part of who we both are and whether it's as simple as popping open some cheap swell and having some meats and cheeses or going there really nice dinner, that's really our time to kind of , um, sit and talk about our kids actually slit and try to connect with each other and, and not, not speak too much about, you know, everything else. Um, uh , but it's a , yeah, it's informed for both of us to be able, you know, look at each other and have that conversation and be in that moment

Speaker 3:

and , and tried to try to have a , uh, deal with each other when we do go out. Okay , we can talk about the kids for five minutes or 10 minutes, work for five or 10 minutes and the rest of the night we cannot bring up those two topics. It's hard. It's just hard scheduling it out a little. Well, yeah, but, but , um, when you extract work and you extract kids , um, that's a real challenge on even 16 years of marriage of or well , 16 years of being together. Like you, I draw a blank. Like where , where do we, so there are techniques or apps that you can like, download questions and explore each other a little bit more. But , um, I would challenge people to just try to do that. Like, don't talk about work, don't talk about kids and see what's left and what else you can find out about each other a little bit more each time. If you were to meet your younger self around the age that you met, what would you tell? What would you tell your younger self about the future? Oh God, that's a deep question. Your outfit sucked. Okay. Um, what would you tell yourself? Well, I'm going to come back to my business card , Sarah Tello , individual or Sarah molder, individual. First off. Um , wait a way to have the entrepreneurial spirit. So that's awesome. Good for you. Um, I ,

Speaker 4:

I think mine is much more simple, so I'll, I'll, I'll just, I'll just go. I think the one, one piece would be like, take the chance, move to Santa Barbara. It's been life. It's been full of peaks and valleys and there's, you know, there's a , there's a lot to it, but I couldn't , um, I , I don't think, I couldn't imagine , um , sitting here even today being somewhat surprised to be in this podcast and having the conversation with you today, Steve. Um, but I, I, I don't think I'd change it. I was probably , um , risk averse a little bit in Sarah's brought a little more risk out of me. And, and that first thing was to, it moved to Santa Barbara.

Speaker 3:

So from a broader perspective, I would say to that younger me, like, I'm just proud of you. I'm proud of us. And as Annie said, it's just sort of felt really organic, our relationship. And , um, my 22 year old self, if you said, what would you be doing at 38? I'm married and having kids, like, I mean, be married and have kids and have a career. And we are married and we have kids and we have a career and we own a home. And so how the means to the end happen I don't think matters. Um, we went to a hallway party and um, the friends who hosted it, who were kind of new neighbors new and the husband and wife commented, we had been over for dinner a week before and they comment it to the group for the friends, how they had so much respect for us because the night we came over for dinner, they saw that we converse greatly. We have a respect for each other, we don't over-talk for each other. And we both looked at each other or like watch , we do that, we're terrible about that. But like in the home setting we are talking over each other and not listening and life is happening and kids are happening and yes , I've seen him and we're thinking about work and the kids asking the question and the husband's asking a question and vice versa and it's chaotic. And then like, I think in this conversation we've demonstrated that, right? Actually I was thinking about that. Like we really, when when things slowed down for even a minute, we do have quite a bit of a respect for each other. So when we're able to sit and have a conversation with another couple because the four boys in that situation are off plane , I think there is a mutual respect to, to converse and, and balance. So , um, anyway that , that's us just bowled his door and I go , I said, I said we were proud of us. I haven't been do totally , I'm proud of how we talk.

Speaker 4:

Okay , now I get it. I completely get it. And I think I completely agree. I think, you know, language

Speaker 1:

which is so it's a small part of communication even though you'll be in these situations where there's talking over one another. I think for you too , the communication is on a much deeper level than just your words. So I , I can completely see how other people can see that and then I can see it. You know, I have to just over an hour speaking to you. So congratulations.

Speaker 4:

Thank you. Thank you. Okay. Well unless there's anything else that you two want to add? I don't know . I don't think so . I uh, I see Steve, I actually, I enjoyed myself so with the trepidation but I came in with going, what are we going to targeting about, I wasn't bad at shows . Um , well I had a droid. Reddit . All right , thank you. Great. Well thank you both so much right there. Yeah. Thanks for being a part of this. Of course. We look forward to hearing it. Yeah , thanks a lot. Okay, see you later . Fine .

Speaker 3:

And there you have it

Speaker 1:

to say thank you to Sarah and Andy for being a part of the podcast episode. I'd also like to just quickly mention Sarah second business, which unfortunately when she mentioned it the first time I had to cut from the episode,

Speaker 3:

I decided how can I grow and I launched from focus, which is helping attorneys with productivity and time management and that is my main in my career.

Speaker 1:

And if you have any feedback for us, then please get in touch. You can email us@chooselovepodcastatgmail.com . Thanks again to you again next time.

Speaker 5:

[inaudible] .